10.9.11

O que fazia rir Mafoma?

Mafoma, o profeta do islão, é, segundo o Alcorão, o modelo para todos os muçulmanos piedosos. Como em tudo, também no humor devemos olhar para Mafoma, através dos livros canónicos do islão - o Alcorão, a Sirá (biografia) e as hadith (ditos e feitos de Mafoma) - para compreender o islão e o comportamento dos seus seguidores:

Amplify’d from www.politicalislam.com

It Ain’t Funny, Mohammed

There is a troupe of Muslim comedians who have been touring the South to counter the stereotypical view of Muslims. They contend that these stereotypes are the core of the cancer that is American Islamophobia. All the shows are free and it is a national tour with heavy publicity. Should there be a follow-the-money question about who is paying the hundred thousand dollars for the propaganda tour?

But there is a great deal of truth about the idea of a stereotype. The true stereotype of Islam is Mohammed. He is declared in 91 verses in the Koran to be the divine human prototype, the perfect being and the sacred model of a pious life. We find him in the Sira (his biography) and the Hadith (his traditions). Guess what? There is a doctrine of humor to found in Islamic doctrine. This should be no surprise, given that the Islamic doctrine is the basis for their civilization.

Here are some of the moments of laughter in Mohammed’s life take from the Hadith and the Sira:

Muslim 031, 5932: … [At the battle of Uhud]… Mohammed said to Saed: Shoot an arrow, may my mother and father be taken as ransom for you. Saed drew an arrow and shot a featherless arrow at the Meccan’s side and he fell down and his private parts were exposed. I saw Mohammed’s front teeth when he laughed.

Muslim 019, 4450: … I said: Mohammed, let me select from our people one hundred men and I will follow the marauders and I will kill them all. Mohammed laughed so much that his molar teeth could be seen in the light of the fire, and he said: Salama, do you think you can do this? I said: Yes, ….

Bukhari 8, 74, 299: ... Mohammed woke up with a smile. 'What makes you laugh, O Allah's Apostle?' He said, 'In my dream some Muslims were displayed before me as jihadists sailing over this sea, like kings on thrones.’

Umayya: 'Now I had bound my prisoner's thumbs with my bow­string, and when Mohammed looked at him he laughed so that one could see his back teeth. He asked my news and when I told him how I had killed a Kafir by pushing my bow through his eye into his brain, he blessed me.' [1]

By God, we only met some bald old women like the sacrificial camels who are hobbled, and we slaughtered them!' The apostle smiled and said, 'But, nephew, those were the Kafir chiefs.' [2]
‘Mohammed, what makes the Lord laugh with joy at His servant?' Mohammed answered, 'When he plunges into the midst of the enemy without armor.' Auf drew off his armor and threw it away: then he seized his sword and fought the enemy till he was slain. [3]

A common phrase from both the Koran and Mohammed is:

Bukhari 8, 76, 492: Mohammed said, "If you knew what I know you would laugh little and weep much."

We can see that what makes Mohammed laugh a little, makes us weep much. And what makes Mohammed laugh in these quotes? Brutality and cruelty to Kafirs made Mohammed laugh and smile.

Mohammed found cruelty to Kafirs funny, but we Kafirs had better never find anything about Mohammed humorous. Have you ever heard a Mohammed joke? There are Jesus jokes, Moses jokes, God jokes and Saint Peter jokes, but in 1400 years there has never been a Mohammed joke. Why? Why isn’t Mohammed funny? There are no Mohammed jokes because of the Islamic reasoning or logic. Islamic reasoning is pure authoritarian.

But there is an even better reason that we don’t have any Mohammed jokes. Jokes point out our errors and flaws. There are 91 Koran verses that say that Mohammed is the perfect man to be followed in the smallest detail by all Muslims at all times. If Mohammed is not perfect, then why imitate him? If the joke points out error or flaws, then the keystone of Islam is flawed. The joke performs the logical task of isolating error. If the joke is based on any reality (and they all are, or they would not be funny) then Mohammed has flaws. That would mean that a Muslim has to start using reasoning to sort out Mohammed’s errors. So the joke destroys the entire edifice of authoritarian reasoning and opens up Islam to critical thought. Since Mohammed must remain the perfect pattern, then no jokes may be allowed.

Humor is an excellent acid test for the type of reasoning that is used. Authoritarian systems never allow humor directed at the authorities. Nobody told Stalin jokes. Joke:

An American was visiting a Russian during the Cold War. They fell to arguing about who had the better political system. The American said, “Let me show how good American politics are.” He tore out a photo of Nixon in a magazine and threw it into the trash and said, “To hell with Nixon. Can you do that?”

The Russian said, “Sure.” And he took the photo of Nixon, wadded it up and threw it out the window and yelled to the world, “To hell with Nixon.” Then he said, “See, we Soviets can do that better than you!”

Authoritative reasoning systems are based on suppression of thought that is not accepted by the Establishment and always have force and punishment in the background. To see authoritative thought in America, go to any college classroom and try for an open discussion of race. Try talking about minority crime, poverty and classroom failures as being the responsibility of the minority.

The Kafir world has a better thought system—critical thought (also: scientific thought). Critical thought loves humor for the reason that all opinions are welcome in critical thought. The idea may not be provable, but you can bring up for discussion.

We see this in political cartoons. One of the triumphs of America during this Obama presidency is that he gets cracked as hard in political cartoons as Bush.

What about a Mohammed cartoon? Oops! That does not work so well. Remember the Mohammed cartoons? People died in riots. Then Mollie Norris of Seattle, WA came up with idea of “Everybody Draw Mohammed Day”. She is now in hiding from death threats. That’s that the Islamic authoritarian reasoning at work.

We got to see Islamic authoritarian reasoning against intellectuals and artists in the death fatwa as Salman Rushdie (author), the murder of: Pym Fortune (an artist and politician), Theo van Gogh (film director and TV personality), Daniel Pearl (newspaper reporter) and other artist/critics for 1400 years. Assassination of artists who criticize Mohammed is pure Islam. Mohammed repeatedly sent out assassins against the artists and intellectuals of his day who criticized and satirized him.

What is the response of the authoritarian media/university/government Establishment today to critical thought about Islam? Those who are critical about Islamic doctrine and history are called immoral bigots, Islamophobes, haters and worse. Why does our Establishment love Islam so much? One authoritarian recognizes another authoritarian. It is a matter of professional courtesy--the same reason that sharks don’t bite lawyers.

The Establishment will not help us, but will only pick up Islam’s complaints and bludgeon us as bigots because we do not agree on an intellectual point. We have to be ideological warriors and bring the truth of Islamic doctrine and political history, which is not funny in any way, to those who have an ear to hear.

But take heart, kind souls, there is at least one form of humor that the Muslim comedy troupe won’t be telling, fart jokes:

Bukhari 8, 73, 68: Mohammed forbade laughing at a person who passes wind, …


So tell me, if you cannot crack fart jokes, how do Muslim males ever get through youth? (For the guys—pull my finger.)

1. The Life of Mohammed, A. Guillaume (the Sira), Oxford University Press, 1982, pg. 675.
2. Ibid, pg. 309
3. Ibid, pg. 301

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